Most couples find it hard to move on after staying in an unhappy marriage for some time. Making the decision to leave is quite scary and there is a deep fear. But what’s worse is staying in the unhappy marriage can have long-term effects on your mental and emotional health,
Here are some of the signs that show whether your marriage is an unhappy one…
Less or no Intimacy
One of the relationship experts – Mama Kuzila warns that if a marriage has less intimacy (sex) then it’s most likely to be an unhappy marriage. A romantic relationship involves a lot of intimacy and normally these last longer than the normal relationships. However lack of intimacy can be caused by many reasons including no trust between the people in the relationship. Selfishness could be also be amongst one of the things. Lack of visible physical affection, and communication in marriages is also indicative of a real problem.
Less communication is common with an unhappy marriage. An example is when one of the parties has a major accomplishment and their partner isn’t the first person they are sharing it with. This means that you prefer to get your needs met outside your relationship. Not having any meaningful conversations aside from “rudimentary conversations about chores and things that need to get done” is a warning sign that your relationship is not in a good place. Also if you have noticed, some marriages that are likely not to last have couples with less or no interaction. If you find that you’re never actively engaging together as husband and wife then that’s an indication there’s disconnection, or a lack of connection.
You’ve Stopped Fighting
If you’ve given up fighting, but feel further away than ever, it’s a sign that you are in an unhappy marriage. If there’s a fight and the couple doesn’t talk about what happened, or becomes gridlocked in their position and refuses to listen to their partner’s perspective, that’s not good. However, you might still be able to turn it around. Unresolved conflict can fool us into thinking that our love is lost, when it’s actually only buried beneath the ashes of smoldering resentment and anger. In other words, the love could still be there, but you just can’t access it. To get back in touch with those feelings, turn toward your partner emotionally —which creates closeness and connection—rather than ignoring them or responding negatively, which creates distance and disengagement. Fights can lead to greater intimacy if the couple processes the fight and repairs the relationship. It’s up to you to decide whether you’ve got it in you to turn toward your husband and give it one last go, or whether you’ve maxed out your ability to keep fighting for your relationship.
Emotional Affairs with Other People not your partner
If you’re not happy with your husband, you might be falling into an emotional affair, making another male the priority in your life. And thanks to today’s technology, it’s easier than ever to get caught up. Technology has allowed people who might never risk having any kind of affair to flirt online. This creates a situation of ‘temptation,’ and not everything that takes place online stays online. People are bolder when hiding behind a screen, and often click on send without thinking first. If your relationship is already on the rocks, giving yourself to someone else — even if that’s only virtually — will only make things worse.
Your Partner is over controlling you
This is especially problematic if one partner feels over-controlled by the other spouse, and has made great attempts to verbalize his or her feelings and feels defeated because his or her expressions and words are not validated. One way this issue might present itself? If a spouse controls the finances of the family, and prohibits the other partner from having their own credit card or checking account.